Biden v. Palin

Why did I feel like buying a box of girl scout cookies from Palin by the end of the debate? Not that Biden’s answers were always awe inspiring. For example, when asked to how he would shrink the gap of polarization in Washington, Biden cited his work on “very, very controversial issues” such as domestic violence, and fighting genocide. Yup, there’s nothing more controversial than working against the killing of an entire population. In fact, my friends and I often have heated arguments over this and other controversial topics, such as kicking puppies.

Not that the moderator was much better. She often seemed to be conducting two simultaneous interviews instead of conducting a debate. Which might help explain the strange tactic that both Palin and Biden used, they would not look at the moderator when answering and instead, look directly into the camera as if trying to make the viewer feel like the candidates were talking to them. I can just imagine people breaking from their debates about domestic violence and genocide to yell, "Honey, come quick, Sarah Palin is talking to me!" "And bring some money for the thin mints while you're at it.!"

I Am The Unicorn

Of all the things I never expected to be doing, being pregnant had to rank right up there with removing my own gallbladder with a soup spoon or voting Republican. Which might be why I feel amazed that people actually believe me when I tell them that I’m pregnant. Actually I was all for not telling anybody at all and waiting for people to say something. But, I was persuaded by the other party to this grand genetic science experiment that maybe this was not the best option. Whenever I do tell people now, I feel like a text book example of “How To Tell If Someone Is Lying,” My eyes dart around the room, I say it quick and low, like I’m trying to buy crack on street corner on a Sunday afternoon. And then the strangest thing happens—people believe me, even though I feel like I’ve just announced, “I’m a unicorn!” (Actually, becoming a one-horned horse and becoming pregnant had roughly the same likelihood in my book up until a few months ago.) It makes me think though, that we are a country that wants to believe--in $700 billion dollar bailouts, in Nigerian businessmen with million dollar checks, that the world makes sense even if only through the lens of a conspiracy theory--and apparently in the possibility that a totally-unprepared-for-parenthood 35 year-old with misanthropic tendencies, having a baby is not the greatest catastrophe yet set down upon mankind. Huh. Go figure. Coo-coo-ca-choo.